Nyota
by wowannie
Summary: Spock and Jim have just been beamed aboard the Enterprise. Nyota Uhura has just been killed on a mission, Spock is devastated and Jim doesn't know how to help... Quite short story, hope you like : Rated T since there's a bit of fighting in there...


"Nyota... Nyota?" Spock was knelt on the Transporter Room floor beside Uhura's lifeless form. His breathing was beginning to sound panicked, quickening as he choked back the grief rising in his throat. He slowly encircled her in his arms, hugging her limp frame into his chest, the tears starting to flow freely now.

"No. Not now... Please, Nyota. I need you." He cradled her head in his hands, searching her face for any flicker of life. "Please do not leave me." He whispered, his tears dripping silently from his cheeks, landing in small splashes on Uhura's uniform. Spock carefully wiped away the little pools that had fallen onto her face. It was strange that even now, when it was taking him all he had not to scream with the pain and loss he felt, his Vulcan half quietly pressed thoughts endlessly through his mind. _"It is fruitless to expect a response. She is dead. Put her down and get back to your duties."_ He kissed her forehead tenderly, closing his eyes to the world, letting her scent fill his senses for what would be the last time.

Jim stood looking down at the scene with shock frozen on his face. He hadn't expected the Klingons to attack at all, let alone start shooting at the landing party without even hearing their offer of a temporary truce. He gazed on helplessly, unable to take his eyes away from his grieving First Officer desperately clutching his now-dead Lieutenant.

"Spock..." Jim's voice cracked as it broke through the stifling quiet. "Spock, I'm so sorry." He walked cautiously over to the Vulcan and carefully laid a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.  
Spock's eyes snapped open. He gently laid down his lover's motionless body and paused briefly, taking in every last detail. Spock swooped round suddenly and grabbed Kirk's arm in a tight grasp. He yanked the young Captain down to his level and locked gazes with him, ignoring Jim's sharp cry of surprise.

"You..." Spock's voice was thick with the fury he struggled to control. "You let this happen." He tightened his hold of the Captain's arm and took great delight in watching Jim wince from the pain.

"Spock, I had no idea this would happen!" Jim began, trying to pull away helplessly from the vice-like grip of his enraged crew member.  
Spock cursed in Vulcan and leant in so close to Jim he could feel the heat emanating from his face.

"Lieutenant Uhura did not need to be at that landing party." His voice shook with rage, and Jim could hear the Vulcan grinding his teeth between every other word. "You knew she could have stayed on the Bridge. If it were not for you, she would still be alive!" Spock's fist connected with Kirk's jaw in a powerful punch that sent him crashing into the Transporter Controls.  
Still dazed from the impact, Kirk only had a few seconds to take in the towering form bearing down on him. With tremendous force Spock's bloodied knuckles connect with his nose in a nauseating crunch that turned his stomach; Spock had broken his nose. The Vulcan's fist pounded into his face again and again, Spock grunting more furiously as his punches came down harder and faster, his anger building inside him until a sorrow-filled roar escaped his lips.

"THAT'S ENOUGH, SPOCK!" McCoy burst into the Transporter Room. He shoved all of his weight into his colleague, trying to prise him off the bloody mess that was James T. Kirk. Spock fell back, momentarily exhausted and gasping for air. Turning his back to him, McCoy focused his attention on Kirk, noting the worrying angle of the Captain's nose, and the sallow pocket that had formed in Jim's left cheek; Spock must have knocked out some of his teeth.

"Jim? Jim, can you hear me? It's McCoy..." He started to mop up the blood that was smeared over Kirk's face. Kirk moaned and struggled to open his already blackening and swollen eyes.

"Bones?"

"I'm here, Jim."

"Where's Spock?"

"He's here too." McCoy gestured vaguely behind him.

"Spock?" Jim questioned and began to sit up. Through the haze of his puffy eye-lids he could only just make out the faint silhouette of his friend, who was now sat with his head in his hands.

"Stop moving about Jim! You need to rest! Lay back down, I need to get you on a stretcher and over to Sick Bay immediately!" McCoy began. Kirk held up his hand to hush the Doctor's words.  
It took a great amount of effort to move, but Jim put up with the pain thrashing around his body and pulled himself slowly towards Spock.

"I know this can't possibly count right now, but I am so sorry. For everything." Jim began. His voice sounded thick and glutinous from the blood resting in his sinuses. "You have every right to blame me, Spock. As Captain it is my responsibility to make sure my crew is safe. I had no idea the Klingons would react this way, but that doesn't redeem my stupid risk. I really am sorry." Kirk gulped and slurred his way through his apology, determined to convey that he too, was hurting from the loss.

"Jim. Please?" Spock glanced towards his Captain with heavy eyes. He reached forward, his fingers probing Jim's face for the correct place to perform a mind-meld. "Our minds are becoming one."

Jim closed his eyes as he was transported into Spock's mind. Memories of Spock and Uhura together flashed all around him; the unusual attraction Spock had felt when he had first saw her at the Academy; the taste of her lips and the excitement of their first kiss; all of the nights they had shared together, their bodies becoming one in an intimate embrace; telling her she was beautiful, that he loved her, that he needed her. Jim felt such an overwhelming sense of love he felt his heart would burst if it continued. Fortunately for him, Spock's mind surged forward, and cold wrath flooded Jim's conscious as Spock's version of their fight resurfaced itself. This quickly turned to regret, and suddenly Kirk had never felt more tired in his entire life. Then the grief took over.  
Spock pulled away and broke the meld, but not quick enough. Tears were streaming down Kirk's face, mixing with the blood. He felt hollow, empty, and most of all, alone.  
Kirk was shaking, more from the meld than loss of blood, yet as he trembled he lifted himself so he was kneeling in front of Spock. Jim leant forward until their foreheads touched. They stayed together for some time before Spock let out a long, miserable sigh.

"I loved her, Jim." He spoke at last.

"I know, Spock." Jim ignored normal etiquette and took the anguished Vulcan by the hand. "She loved you too."


End file.
